


To Have and to Hold

by AnarchistRedeemed



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Affection, Angst, Arranged Marriage AU, Asphyxiation, Comfort, Cuddling, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Grooming, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Let Sendak Love His Hubby 2k18, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Verbal Abuse, Vivid nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:58:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnarchistRedeemed/pseuds/AnarchistRedeemed
Summary: Lotor has always had nightmares. That much was certain; a fact of life in and of itself.But he never had someone to help him through them. Not until now.Not until Sendak.





	To Have and to Hold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aretia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aretia/gifts).



> A snippet based off of aretia's 'Arranged Marriage AU' for Lotor/Sedak:   
> "Emperor Zarkon sees many things in Commander Sendak that he does not see in his own son, Prince Lotor, the 'shame' of the Empire; whereas Lotor is disrespectful and uncooperative, the Commander is cunning, ruthless, bold, and loyal. A prime example of what Zarkon wants in an heir.  
> So, in an effort to pass the Galran throne to someone who actually deserves it, Zarkon arranges a marriage between the Prince and the Commander, rightfully securing Sendak's place as next in line.
> 
> Four months into the marriage and something unexpected has happened between Lotor and Sendak. Something that not even Zarkon could have predicted or foreseen:
> 
> The pair, against all odds, have fallen in love. "
> 
> As a forewarning, the 'nightmare' scene in which this story opens with has the potential to disturb some readers, as it contains emotional trauma, verbal abuse, and asphyxiation. Skip or turn back if you like!

Lotor is suffocating.

It starts out small, the lack of air barely even noticeable -a mere itch that tickles harmlessly at the back of his throat, vying for his attention, much like that of a Galra kit tugging at their mother's pant leg. Lotor pays it no mind as it is subtle enough to ignore.

Until suddenly it isn't so subtle; it quickly spreads until his lungs are constricting, the horrendous ache catching him by surprise. The itch from before has transformed into a terrible burning, a searing fire, and Lotor is almost forced to his knees by the intensity of it. Invisible flames kiss at the Prince's ribs. His mouth gapes, throat tightening again and again, but no air flows in. Lotor's panic grows.

Eyes widening, he begins clawing at the flesh of his neck, fingers scrabbling over the sharpened angles that adorn his face. He grazes his lips, his nose, but nothing is there to obstruct his airways, so why-?

A hand, charred and blurred, materializes out of the darkness, shadows dripping off of it like a leaky tap. It reaches for Lotor's neck and, before he knows it, a handful of sharp claws are caressing his jugular _oh so softly._ The touch is almost protective, almost sweet. The panic ebbs from Lotor's mind briefly before slamming back into him with a vengeance just as the hand tightens around his throat, lifting him into the air as though he weighed no more than a single drop of rain. The Prince is left to thrash and kick at the shadows below him, blood pounding deafeningly in his eardrums. Adrenaline buzzes through his veins at an alarming rate but it does nothing to ease the pounding of his heart or the flooding of darkness that swell at the edges of his vision.

He almost does not hear the monster when it finally speaks, cinders and ash tumbling from the back of its hollow maw.

"Child of an _Altean whore_ , that is all you are," it licks its scarred lips and leans in closer, teeth brushing against Lotor's cheek, painting it white with soot. "And all you ever will be." The Prince jerks his head back as far as it will go and cringes against the stench of burnt blood and curdled flesh, which drips from the pores of the beast.

Ah. The creature may not resemble his father, but those are most certainly his father's words. Lotor tries to blink away the hot tears that cling to his lashes and grits his teeth when they fall freely from his eyes anyway. The monster delights in his display of weakness, mouth curling upwards, fangs gleaming.

"Dirty blood," the creature chants. "You have dirty blood. How could I _ever love_ someone with such dirty blood?" Its eyes narrow and the monster pauses in its taunting, fixing its gaze on something behind Lotor, hidden from the Prince's sight. It chuckles, nostrils flaring in a cloud of cinders.

"And how could _he_ ever love someone with such _dirty blood_?"

Lotor is dropped carelessly to the floor, which squrims and coils like a living being, a thousand hearts pumping sickly beneath its oily, mottled surface. Lotor's eyes snap open and he breathes in lungfuls of the putrid air that surrounds him. Regardless of how foul it tastes, it is at least enough to sate the buzzing in his veins.

But only for a moment.

His heart stops in his chest the instant he lifts his chin; Sendak is there, standing but an arms-length away from Lotor, staring disdainfully down at the Prince, who shivers at his feet. Lotor grabs blindly for Sendak, a desperate whimper escaping between his lips as his fingers stretch towards his lover. His progress is halted as the shadows beneath him spring up, the decaying tendrils grasping and pulling, and suddenly Lotor is being dragged _downwards_ , sinking into the floor.

Sendak only stands there. Lotor drowns beneath the darkness.

_Dirty blood, dirty blood, dirty blood_. The chanting does not cease. _He will never love you with all that dirty blood._

The Prince wakes with a scream.

* * *

 

Sendak jolts awake, head foggy and mouth dryer than a wad of Yexian cotton as the covers of the bed are ripped away from his body. He lies there, exposed to the chill of the room that somehow still manages to penetrate his thick coat. He grunts, fingers itching to retrieve the hijacked blanket. But fatigue sits heavy in his mind still, so he lies there, mourning the loss of the soft covers as we waits for his senses to return to him. Stars, he _really_ misses the silken bedding already.

The Commander knew well enough that he would be given many new perks after becoming Imperial Heir, but he had never expected so _many_. And he had not expected to enjoy them all as thoroughly as he did. Diligent servants that catered to your every need, flavor-enriched delicacies tediously crafted within the royal kitchens (ah, he'd never have to even _look_ at a sustenance packet again), as well as access to the latest models in prosthetic technology. Sendak would be lying if he said he didn't like every bit of it.

Not to mention the bedding. _Oh, the bedding_. His favorite perk. Truthfully, it had been Sendak's enthusiasm to sink into the pillows of the royal suite that had had the tension bleeding out of Prince Lotor during their first night together. To see the feared Commander Sendak collapse face-first into a heap of plush and expensive blankets? Lotor had suddenly not been as anxious and as cold as he had previously been, amusement swiftly replacing his hostility. He had stalked up to the cushions, one clawed hand on his hip as he announced that he would not tolerate an, 'insolent bed-hog' for a husband. The Commander had only grinned, teeth flashing slyly as he huffed at the Prince. It was still awkward, to be married to the Prince, but he had supposed that he should at least get used to it. Sendak had scooted over to make room for his new mate with little to no protest from the Prince, who had grown accustomed to sleeping alone for the past ten-thousand years. It was not all bad, after all. Not that Lotor would admit that much.

As an added bonus to acquiring some new and luxurious living quarters, Lotor had also discovered that night that it was incredibly difficult to hog a bed that was half the size of the Empire itself. He had said as much to Sendak, who had laughed hearilty at his quip.

That was when Lotor found that he very much liked the sound of the Commander's laugh. He shook his head, mentally scolding himself. Sendak was nothing more than an Imperial brute lapping at Zarkon's feet. Nothing more, nothing less.

But despite Lotor's feelings on the matter, it _had_ turned out to be a decent first night for the newlyweds, who were still tense and anxious when faced with the prospects of their forced future.

Sendak pauses, frowning as his sleep-addled brain catches up, tearing itself away from the memory. His eyes have finally begun to adjust to the lack of light, his prosthetic one glowing dimly. He makes out the figure of Lotor.

Lotor, who sits with his arms wrapped tightly around his knees, face buried within the tangle of trembling limbs.

Sendak is most certainly awake now.

"Lotor?" he is soft. Hesitant. And he has done this a hundred times before in the past four months. Once more is nothing new.

Sendak knows the drill by now.

There is no respone so he tries again, the fingers of his flesh hand barely grazing against the Prince's shoulders. "...Lotor? My love?"

There is a jolt that runs through Lotor, quick as lightning and as twice as shocking. His pale hand quickly rises to cover his mouth as a sob tears through it. Sendak rubs soothing circles into the meat of Lotor's back as he hushes him quietly. As soon as Lotor's breathing evens out, he sinks into Sendak's hold. The Commander's arms encircle Lotor's shivering form.

"You were there again." Lotor murmurs against the larger Galran's chest, face obscured by the commander's furred pectorals. Sendak cannot see Lotor's tears but he feels them, running in rivulets down his skin, dripping tiny puddles into the bedsheets. He holds his beloved tighter.

"I know it wasn't really _you_. I know that. But I just can't-"

Sendak swoops his head down to capture Lotor's words with his lips. The prince melts easily into the kiss, fresh tears blooming from the corners of his eyes; no longer from sadness, but from joy. He knows that he is loved. He knows that he is safe. The nightmare begins to fade from his mind as the kiss deepens, warmth filling Lotor's chest.

Their first kiss had not been at all like this. It had been stubborn and it had been angry, as both the Prince and the Commander had had a destiny thrust upon them that they did not want. Lotor held the Commander high upon a pedestal of spite, for Sendak was everything that Lotor was not; everything that his father _had_ wanted. Meanwhile, Sendak _loathed_ having to mate the Emperor's exiled brat. He was a High Commander of Zarkon's inner circle, not a _babysitter_. And although he knew that the union would secure his  position as Emperor, he could not help but feel slighted and insulted by the union.

But after the marriage ceremony, after their first night together, after their first mating...both had discovered _far more_ from the other than what they had originally expected.

Sendak was gruff, yes. Bloodthirsty and headstrong for the sake of his Emperor? Absolutely. But under the layers of ferocity lay loyalty and an unparalleled protectiveness for those that he cared for. And he had certainly grown to care for Lotor who was...

Well, in Sendak's eyes we was _everything_. Intelligent, passionate, bold, inquisitive- oh, he could go on for vargas. The prince had a kindness in him, buried deep. He often spoke with Sendak in hushed, excited whispers about how he was going to change to Empire, make it so that it was a loved regime rather than a feared one. He would cleanse the sins of his father. He would change the way that the Galra harvested quintessence. The people of the Universe would no longer cower and cringe at the sight of his people.

Sendak would listen, enthralled by Lotor's confidence. Soon, their kisses grew less angry and more _hungry_ over time.

The spite trickled and drained from Lotor's heart as he began to see the Commander in a new light.

Sendak found that the Prince was no impudent child like he initially thought, but rather an admirable and compassionate leader.

Love had blossomed in the most unlikely place, growing strong and tall before the shadow of the Emperor. Sendak has morphed into Lotor's shield, protecting him from his waking nightmares _and_  from the unbidden ones that plague his sleep. Lotor, on the other hand, has become an outlet for Sendak's... err, softer side. The Commander -surprisingly-  thoroughly enjoys cuddling, grooming, nuzzling... All the behaviors of a more domestic, affectionate Galra.

But in this moment, Lotor cannot find it within himself to complain about how clingy and demanding his lover is. It anchors him. Makes his night terrors just all the more bearable.

He finally pulls away from Sendak, a fond smile gracing his lips as he wipes at the wet stains clinging to his eyes. Sendak leans in, placing a chaste kiss to Lotor's forehead. Another follows. And then another. Sendak peppers them all along the prince's hairline, down to his nose, his cheek, the corner of his mouth, until Lotor is laughing, pushing Sendak away.

"You are so fiendish! Why do I ever indulge you?" Lotor chides, flush hidden behind his hands. Sendak pries Lotor's fingers away from his face, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Because you love me," he replies, a smirk rising from the edges of that _terrible_ mouth. The prince pouts, fingers drumming lazily against Sendak's thigh. A pause engulfs them, comfortable and easy. Sendak becomes concerned the moment it lasts for more than a heartbeat and he frowns. "Are you really alright?" 

Lotor's gaze drifts upwards before stopping to meet Sendak's eye. He nods after a moment of comtemplation.

"I'll be fine. They're not as bad as they were before."

"Good," Sendak huffs. "Then I'm doing my job right."

The pair chuckle lightly before lapsing back into silence. Sendak pulls the discarded covers back over his and Lotor's bodies, tucking the prince between himself and mountain of  cashmere quilts from the Juik'nin Bazaars. Lotor hums contentedly, squirming until his position is just right. The warmth, combined with the soothing pressure of Sendak's claws gliding rhythmically down his back has Lotor's eyes sliding shut as he returns to sleep once more.

Sendak places one more kiss to Lotor's forehead, gently enough as to not wake his mate.

_To banish the nightmares_ , he thinks. _And all that has ever frightened you._

He curls Lotor closer to his body, satisfied only when there are no gaps between them to speak of. Sendak closes his eye and powers down the prosthetic, dimming the sheen of glass. He breathes in Lotor's scent, allowing the pleasant musk to lull him.

Beside him, wrapped in Sendak's arms, Lotor dreams only of good things.

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh, hope it was okay. These two were really fun to write, I'll admit. So gee, thanks for adding yet ANOTHER ship to my disgustingly long list of pairings how dare you.
> 
> [If anyone sees any spelling/grammatical errors, PLEASE do not hesitate to let me know. That way I can fix it right away!]


End file.
